Into the Sea

This year I learned

That my phone is not my friend

And while that may seem silly—

For how could a phone be your friend?

It who lies in metal

Knows the deepest parts of myself

That I struggle to articulate

That my own boyfriend

Is unfamiliar to

I’ve found myself caught in cords

& my mind—wasting away

For I forgot what color trees are

When I’m alone with them

And the name of the bug, red with black spots

Escapes my tongue

So this year—

I threw myself into the sea

Short-circuiting

I swim with life, with death

Drowning every piece of me that is not

Me

And as the fish remind me how to breatheAs the saltwater burns my eyes

And I float unbound

I can’t wait to see what I find.